Fans of inconsistent punctuation will be pleased to know last year’s The Strangers: Chapter 1 has a sequel called The Strangers – Chapter 2, presumably because the first one was too reminiscent of a colonoscopy.

This latest unwelcome intruder into the home-invasion series is the middle part of a trilogy that was all shot at the same time and released in quick succession (Chapter 3 is out on 6th February), despite not containing enough story for a single movie, let alone three. But to justify its existence, the editors include every excruciating moment in the aftermath of Maya’s (Madelaine Petsch) attack by the masked assailants, so we get to watch all the nothing that happens in real-time. This protracted approach is probably meant to build tension, but the only suspense lies in wondering what punctuation they’ll choose for next year’s sequel.

A horror flick entirely comprising a woman backing slowly into rooms is only scary if we fear what lurks around the corner, but Dan le Sackhead and Betty Boopius Pip are about as menacing as a bag of potatoes. If there is anything frightening about them it is surely their apparent lack of motive, which can only be ruined by backstory, especially one as stupid as this. A series of increasingly risible childhood flashbacks reveal how the girl one got her first taste for home invasion in a Wendy house (seriously) and reared a pet warthog (again, seriously). Maybe it will make more sense in Chapter 3 when we learn about Sackhead’s pet meerkat.

The result is a circuitous and pointless parade of people opening and closing various doors, while the cops (including the subtly named Sheriff Rotter) sit in a diner babbling sensitive case details to the townsfolk, all of whom act like serial killers. Maya does at least have some fight in her this time, but her commitment to running into increasingly tight corners is laughable, even if her ability to keep her nails in pristine condition virtually guarantees she has a future in hand modelling when her film career dries up on 7th February.