Gladiator
Betrayed by the conniving Emperor Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius (Russell Crowe) is sold into glad rags like Ben-Hur, Spartacus, Conan the Barbarian and Anakin Skywalker before him. […]
Tag Archives: Ben-Hur
The Goblin Awards 2016
More reputable than the Golden Globes and shorter than the Oscars, it’s time for the Goblin Awards, our annual antidote to the Academy’s public onanism ceremony. 1. Most Awkward Moment The most awkward […]
Ben-Hur (2016)
This is a CGI-heavy retelling of the classic tale, in which Ben-Hur (first name Judah) takes on the Roman Empire and his estranged brother Messala (first name Chicken Tikka) to try […]
Ben-Hur
In this remake of the 1925 classic, Charlton Heston plays Judah Ben-Hur, a Jewish Prince who’s screwed over by his childhood friend (and former lover?), the Roman Sextus (André Morell). […]
Conan the Barbarian
Arnold Schwarzenegger takes on Darth Vader, in this 1982 fantasy adventure. Even by Arnie’s standards, this is one bizarre movie. It opens with the quote “That which does not kill […]
Screen Goblin 