The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
This review is the result of completing a Twilight marathon, which is a lot like competing in a real marathon except it’s much more important to drink. My focus is […]
Tag Archives: Dan Meier
Saw X
What do the Saw franchise and Cheryl Cole’s career have in common? They both should have ended after that toilet attack 20 years ago. Saw X takes place between Saw and Saw […]
The Equalizer 3
Everyone’s favourite maths-based vigilante (with the possible exception of John Matrix) is back in this anticlimactic threequalizer. For the final chapter, Bob (Denzel Washington) has quit his job as an […]
Cobweb
A boy (Woody Norman) hears a knock on his bedroom wall in this horror flick called Cobweb, because The Knocking was already taken and sounds stupid. In a particularly stale […]
The Blackening
Bodies Bodies Bodies meets Bitch Ass in this horror/comedy about the most racist board game since Trump: The Game. The Blackening looks designed to skewer black representation in the horror […]
The Nun II: Back in the Habit
Valak the demon nun is back to wreak Mass boredom on a French monastery in this Holy Seequel to The Nun; putting the con in convent since 2018. I haven’t […]
Day of the Dead
The lunatics have taken over the underground research facility in this plague-fuelled military satire they should have called Dr. Strain-Love or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Our […]
FrightFest 2023: Departing Seniors
Days before graduation, a set of high school bullies are given a bloody send-off by a masked killer in indie slasher Departing Seniors; a punny title likely lost on British […]
FrightFest 2023: New Life
When Jess (Hayley Erin) goes on the run from a mysterious organisation, they send special agent Elsa (Sonya Walger) to pursue her. Knowing people called Elsa’s distaste for letting things […]
The Birds
A farmhouse is besieged by birds in Alfred Hitchcock’s Flight of the Living Dead. Often parroted but never bettered, this 1963 chick flick does for birds as Jaws did for […]
Screen Goblin 