50 Shades of Grey
A student (Dakota Johnson) falls for a wealthy businessman (Jamie Dornan) with a fetish for spanking women with unflattering fringes. Sam Taylor-Johnson’s 2015 adaptation of E. L. James’ bestseller is […]
Tag Archives: twilight
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
This review is the result of completing a Twilight marathon, which is a lot like competing in a real marathon except it’s much more important to drink. My focus is […]
Twilight
It hardly seems worth recapping the story of the world’s second-most famous glitter-based paedophile (Robert Pattinson). What is surprising is how little happens in the course of this two-hour fantasy […]
Thirst
As the pubs reopen, we turn to the South Korean story of a Catholic priest (Parasite‘s Song Kang-ho) who contracts a vampiric disease and starts drinking as though the blood […]
Underworld: Blood Wars
Talky, tedious and preposterous, Underworld: Dud Bores is the fifth entry into the franchise about warring vampires and werewolves – like Twilight with better acting. I could tell you that it’s so […]
The Wolf Man and Other Tails
At one point during the screening of 1941’s The Wolf Man, the guy in front of me dropped some popcorn on the floor, scooped it up and ate it. It’s as […]
Screen Goblin 