Red (Nicolas Cage) sees red in this red-filtered revenge horror that opens with King Crimson’s Starless from the album Red.

“Not the bees!” the sequel

I wish I could tell you there was more than that to Mandy, which reviewers are calling “not bad for a Nic Cage movie.” But this is a classic case of a bad film duping critics by looking a bit Arty. Panos Cosmatos’ direction is as druggy as you’d expect from a picture called Mandy and he pays homage to fright flicks like Friday the 13th and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but his film is half an hour longer and no more interesting than the Barry Manilow song. “Oh Mandy, well you came and you gave me a headache…”

There’s no reason for a movie featuring Nic Cage, chainsaws and a tiger to be a) boring or b) 2 hours long, but Cosmatos has his actors speak painfully slowly even though they’re not saying anything. So by the time we get to the climactic bloodbath we’d be too tired to care even if there was some semblance of tension or resistance from the Manson-style villains.

Devoid of characters, plot or comedy, Mandy is a pretentious slog. Its self-consciousness might appeal to the Stranger Things crowd or hardcore Peter Mandelson fans, but I found it a real chainsnore.

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