#HateFilms: Jurassic Park
In our third film which Michael Owen wishes-he-hadn’t-saurus, flea circus proprietor John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) behaves like a billionaire Justin Lee Collins as he sets out to bring back the […]
Category Archives: Reviews
#HateFilms: Ghost
In 2014 Michael Owen tweeted that he’d only seen 8 films. And if you think that’s weird you should see Ghost. The late Patrick Swayze is a ghost in this […]
#HateFilms: Forrest Gump
Back in 2014, before we had COVID or Trump or Brexit to talk about, the news included the revelation that footballer Michael Owen had only watched 8 movies in his […]
Shaun of the Dead
Netflix recently claimed that “The world had never known a ‘zom-com’ until Santa Clarita Diet.” Assuming they meant zombie rom-com rather than just zombie comedy (unless they’re really brain-dead) this […]
Gerald’s Game
A kinky couple (Carla Gugino and Bruce Greenwood) drive to an isolated cabin where he has a heart attack while she’s handcuffed to the bed, in this Netflix adaptation of […]
Hail Satan?
Satanism was huge in the last century (if you believe the Christian right) but now it’s back and better than ever, as revealed in Penny Lane’s 2019 documentary about American […]
I’ve Never Seen…The Last Crusade
Aqua’s favourite doctor (Harrison Ford) goes after the Holy Grail of ancient artefacts: the Holy Grail. He’s accompanied by a holy grey-old man, his father Henry Jones Snr (Sean Connery), […]
Ring
A journalist (Nanako Matsushima) faces the toughest deadline of her career when she’s given 7 days to live after watching a cursed videotape that resembles one of David Lynch’s home […]
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
A decade after Borat travelled across America in an ice cream van to kidnap Pamela Anderson, Sacha Baron Cohen dusts off the grey suit and moustache for election year, with […]
Bloodsport
Jean-Claude Van Damme plays army officer Frank Dux (the missiles from Brissiles?), who enters an illegal and exceptionally brutal martial arts contest for reasons which aren’t entirely clear. Probably just […]
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