Red Sonja
Arnold Schwarzenegger steals Sylvester Stallone’s wife in 1985 fantasy flop Red Sonja, a warrior woman’s (Brigitte Nielsen) quest for revenge against the evil queen (Sandahl Bergman) who killed her family. […]
Category Archives: Reviews
Troy
Das Boot director Wolfgang Petersen swaps the boots for sandals in this 2004 epic based on Homer’s Iliad but closer in quality to that Carol Ann Duffy poem about David Beckham. […]
The Untouchables
Having decided he was done making Psycho (until Raising Cain at least), Brian De Palma turned to crime (filming it rather than committing it) in the 1980s, directing Al Pacino in […]
Ocean’s Twelve
Some time after Ocean (George Clooney) and his gang of thieves pulled off their epic casino heist, casino owner Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) is hunting them down for his money […]
Thelma & Louise
Two Southern redheads (Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon) go on the run after shooting a rapist in this 1991 road movie. Remember roads? One of the best films of the ’90s, […]
Ocean’s Eleven
Danny Ocean (George Clooney) celebrates his release from prison by robbing three Las Vegas casinos, not including the Trump Casino because there’s presumably no money in it. Ocean’s Eleven is […]
A Clockwork Orange
In a dystopian Britain where people roam the streets in strange face masks, Alex (Malcolm MacDowell) and his gang of droogs engage in a nightly crime spree that makes The […]
Starship Troopers
Adapted from Robert A. Heinlein’s humans vs bugs novel, Starship Troopers is set in a techno fascist future where the director of Showgirls is still allowed to make movies. Director Paul […]
I’ve Never Seen… Casablanca
If anyone in the future is reading this, we’re all currently stuck indoors due to a virus that’s closed the cinemas (a massive blow to Sonic the Hedgehog fans) and […]
Captain Fantastic
Ben Cash (Viggo Mortensen) is an idealistic live-off-the-land type who raises his six children in the wilderness with all the skills they’ll need to survive after the apocalypse. Think Bear […]
Screen Goblin 