Pulse
Ghosts enter the living world through the internet in this 2001 J-horror they should have called Ghostbuffers. Pulse emerges from the techno-paranoid wellspring of 1998 classic Ring, updating its supernatural […]
Carry On Doctor
Doctors, nurses and patients run amok in the 15th Carry On film, the series’ equivalent of The Terror of Mechagodzilla. Being largely unfamiliar with the Carry On films, it was […]
Tetsuo: The Iron Man
A businessman transforms into a metal monster with a drill for a penis in this Japanese horror movie they should have called The Tokyo Groin Saw Massacre. In true Japanese […]
Conclave
The Pope lies dead. Cardinals assemble to jostle for his vacant slot without appearing to want it too much, like strategically shuffling towards the exit twenty minutes before the end […]
The Merry Gentlemen
Ashley (Britt Robertson) organises a male strip show to save her parents’ bar in this festive Netflix romcom they should have called The Lap-land Dancers. The movie opens with Ashley […]
Black Christmas
Black Christmas (1974) is a Canadian slasher flick about a sorority house quite literally going to pieces over the Christmas break, not to be confused with Black X-Mas (2006), Black […]
Something in the Water
In this British survival thriller, a group of friends reunite in the West Indies for a pre-wedding boat trip that quickly turns from hen do to shark don’t. Something in […]
Heretic
A pair of Mormon missionaries (Sophie Thatcher and Chloe East) are locked in a malevolent man’s (Hugh Grant) house in this preachy horror movie they should have called The Book […]
50 Shades of Grey
A student (Dakota Johnson) falls for a wealthy businessman (Jamie Dornan) with a fetish for spanking women with unflattering fringes. Sam Taylor-Johnson’s 2015 adaptation of E. L. James’ bestseller is […]
The Purge
James DeMonaco’s 2013 home invasion flick introduces the eponymous policy, whereby all crime is legal for one night each year; a policy that has eradicated unemployment and poverty for reasons […]
Screen Goblin 