Resident Evil: Afterlife
As if our collective intelligence wasn’t already being insulted on a daily basis by press conferences about a deadly virus delivered by a shambling humanoid doberman, the Resident Evil franchise is […]
Tag Archives: crap
Gus
Struggling American football team The Atoms enlist the help of Yugoslavian mule Gus, and his handler Andy (Gary Grimes), to take their kicks in a winning strategy to rival Moneyball. […]
Batman and Robin
Batman and Robin (George Clooney and Chris O’Donnel) go from fighting a villain obsessed with riddles to one obsessed with puns, Mr Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who sets the cold standard […]
Tenet
A man (John David Washington), who may or may not work for some kind of mysterious organisation, finds himself investigating strange new weaponry which has been sent backwards through time. […]
Iron Mask
A cartographer (Jason Flemyng) sets out to map the Russian far east, where he uncovers a mystery involving a dragon’s eyelashes and Tsar Peter the Great (Yuri Kolokolnikov), who’s hiding […]
Space Jam
When aliens invade earth, the Looney Tunes must beat them at basketball or face enslavement. They kidnap baseball player Michael Jordan to help them out. It’s a testament to this […]
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Those feeling deprived of Eurovision this year will be pleased to experience the next best thing – but enough about the Eurovision in Isolation podcast; here’s a mind-numbing Netflix movie. […]
Prom Night (2008)
Having run out of decent slasher flicks to remake in the noughties (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Black “X-Mas”), Hollywood started scraping the barrel for properties that weren’t even […]
Starter for 10
Pencil-necked pushover Brian (James McAvoy) is a quiz-obsessed working class kid whose dreams come true when he gets on Bristol’s University Challenge team and meets not one but two generic […]
Collateral Damage
Arnold Schwarzenegger ends the war on drugs and starts the war on terror in this largely forgotten effort from 2002, in which a firefighter (Schwarzenegger) uses his CIA connections (?) […]
