Iron Mask
A cartographer (Jason Flemyng) sets out to map the Russian far east, where he uncovers a mystery involving a dragon’s eyelashes and Tsar Peter the Great (Yuri Kolokolnikov), who’s hiding […]
Tag Archives: crap
Space Jam
When aliens invade earth, the Looney Tunes must beat them at basketball or face enslavement. They kidnap baseball player Michael Jordan to help them out. It’s a testament to this […]
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Those feeling deprived of Eurovision this year will be pleased to experience the next best thing – but enough about the Eurovision in Isolation podcast; here’s a mind-numbing Netflix movie. […]
Prom Night (2008)
Having run out of decent slasher flicks to remake in the noughties (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Black “X-Mas”), Hollywood started scraping the barrel for properties that weren’t even […]
Starter for 10
Pencil-necked pushover Brian (James McAvoy) is a quiz-obsessed working class kid whose dreams come true when he gets on Bristol’s University Challenge team and meets not one but two generic […]
Collateral Damage
Arnold Schwarzenegger ends the war on drugs and starts the war on terror in this largely forgotten effort from 2002, in which a firefighter (Schwarzenegger) uses his CIA connections (?) […]
Conan the Borebarian
When Conan’s tribe is brutally massacred he goes on a quest for vengeance. Again. Having recently sat through Red Sonja we decided to round off the Conan canon with this […]
Ocean’s Twelve
Some time after Ocean (George Clooney) and his gang of thieves pulled off their epic casino heist, casino owner Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) is hunting them down for his money […]
Why I was wrong about Star Trek: Insurrection
In 2015 I reviewed Star Trek: Insurrection. In that review I concluded it’s one of the worst Star Trek films, feeling more like a drawn out episode than a proper […]
I’ve never seen…Crocodile Dundee
After hearing the tall tale of a man who was almost eaten by a croc, New York journalist Sue (Linda Kozlowski) heads to Australia to investigate in a flimsy pretext […]
Screen Goblin 