88 Minutes
Thriller set-ups obviously designed to create as much tension as possible are nothing knew. How many films have a ticking time bomb or a threatened girlfriend? In Speed there’s a bus that […]
Tag Archives: crap
Contact
Contact is a Robert Zemeckis film from 1997 based on a novel by scientist Carl Sagan. Rather than review it, I’m going to copy Alex’s technique in discussing World War Z and just […]
Girl With a Pearl Earring
Set in Holland in 1655, this is the story behind the famous painting. Scarlett Johansson plays a maid who works for the painter Johannes Vermeer (Colin Firth), inadvertently becoming his […]
Deep Blue Sea
“Shark attack” is a stupid sub genre. If you’re not Jaws (1), you can get lost as far as I’m concerned, and that includes piranhas too. Deep Blue Sea takes […]
Rash of Bacon Part 6: Footloose
Set in 1984, before the invention of self-awareness, Footloose follows Ren (Kevin Bacon), a big city boy who moves to a small town where dancing is banned. I don’t like […]
Rash of Bacon Part 4: Flatliners
Flatliners finally gave us the pairing everyone had been waiting for: Joel Schumacher of Batman and Robin and Kevin Bacon from those Kevin Bacon adverts. Eat your heart out Scorsese and […]
Only God Forgives
As you may realise from the title, Only God Forgives is a look at the darker side of human nature. It starts out with a Bangkok drug dealer raping and […]
Meeting Evil
In Meeting Evil, estate agent John (Luke Wilson), is shaken out of his mundane suburban life when a mysterious stranger (Samuel L Jackson dressed as a Quaker) knocks on his […]
World War Zzzzz
I recently saw World War Z. While I could describe at length how tedious and generic it is, this would result in just another tedious, generic review, so instead I […]
Screen Goblin 