Love Lies Bleeding
Gym boss Louise (Kristen Stewart) falls for a bodybuilder (Katy O’Brian) and feebly covers up a crime in this thriller they should have called Dumb Belles. Kristen Stewart lesbian bodybuilding […]
Tag Archives: Kristen Stewart
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
This review is the result of completing a Twilight marathon, which is a lot like competing in a real marathon except it’s much more important to drink. My focus is […]
Crimes of the Future
The past eight years mark the longest ever gap between David Cronenberg films, the delicious irony being that is partially due to a global pandemic. Loosely based on Cronenberg’s 1970 […]
Twilight
It hardly seems worth recapping the story of the world’s second-most famous glitter-based paedophile (Robert Pattinson). What is surprising is how little happens in the course of this two-hour fantasy […]
Panic Room
A former child star and future grownup star play a mother and daughter (Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart) trapped in a panic room after their new house is invaded by […]
Underwater
A deep-sea driller (Kristen Stewart) does some serious offshore boring in her latest box office bellyflop. Hot on the heels of the now long-forgotten Charlie’s Angels reboot, Stewart reaches new […]
Charlie’s Angels (2019)
The 4th Charlie’s Angels incarnation is the first to only feature two Angels; not a great start when a third of your main characters don’t bother showing up. Elizabeth Banks’ […]
Snow White and the Huntsman
Professional frowner Kristen Stewart plays Snow White in this 2012 update of the Brothers Grimm’s classic fairytale. Grim being the operative word. Except it’s not an update at all, as […]
Personal Shopper
Frown with limbs Kristen Stewart plays Maureen, a personal shopper who’s also a medium. That’s not her clothing size, I mean she can speak to the dead. Her recently deceased twin brother […]
Café Society
The problem with having a birthday at the beginning of September is that there are never any films out. My only option was Woody Allen‘s Café Society, which failed to […]
Screen Goblin 