A Ghost Story

From the distributors of A Goat Story (AKA The Witch) comes A Ghost Story from the point of view of the ghost. And if you think that sounds interesting, think again. 

Bit racist.

David Lowery’s supernatural drama follows a couple (Rooney Mara and Casey Affleck) living a quiet life in a suburban home, until he dies suddenly. Casey Affleck then returns as a ghost and (supposedly) spends 99% of the film under a sheet. I wish I’d been under a sheet. Having a nap. But not the same sheet. It’s Casey Affleck after all.

The ghost’s appearance makes you wish you were watching Halloween, playing Pac-Man, or dead. Why would a ghost need eyeholes? It’s not a physical being. It can walk through walls. But that’s not the problem. The problem is that this film redefines the word “slow.” David Slowery offers shot after long, tedious shot of nothing happening, making the film’s 90-minute duration feel like eternity. I suppose that’s the point. To make us think about death by yearning for its sweet release.

A Ghost Snory consists mostly of the ghost watching his widow living her painfully dull life. What did she do, bore him to death? By the time we start literally watching paint dry, it’s as though we’re being trolled. In one painstaking scene, Rooney Mara eats a pie for 4 whole minutes and then throws up. That’s the entire scene. Don’t get me wrong. I like Rooney Mara, and I like pie. I’ve even been known to throw up. But all the perverts in the world couldn’t justify such a sequence.

Andrew Droz Palermo’s lovely cinematography is wasted on this ineptly paced snoozefest, while what little dialogue there is sounds like it was written by a stoned philosophy student (and I should know). Like Personal Shopper, the movie hides its hokey premise and dearth of ideas under a sheet labelled “art.” There’s a ghost, but no story. What a load of sheet.

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