The eagerly unticipated sequel to 2017’s 47 Meters Down, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged is now on Netflix. Where else would it be?

Boasting a cast list that reads like the register at a Hollywood high school (including Sistine “daughter of Sly” Stallone and Corinne “daughter of Jamie” Foxx), Johannes Roberts’ film plonks four underwater daughters into a submerged Mayan burial ground crawling with blind (and therefore enviable) sharks – “Must be the frequency,” apparently. With heightened senses to compensate for lack of vision, Roberts delivers another cookiecutter shark attack movie.

Sharks and the City

Other “characters” include a scuba-diving dad (Sex and the City‘s John Corbett) who turns out to be interested in this ancient burial ground (that makes one of us), and a girl called Alexa (Brianne Tju) whose name makes it sound like people are trying to operate their voice assistant technology underwater – not outside the realm of possibility in a movie where you can blast music in fully submerged caves.

That said, shark movies aren’t about reality – the exceptions being Jaws and found footage gem Open Water where they filmed with real sharks and a handheld camera (someone had to do it). But 47 Meters Down: Uncaged also flails to produce decent shark effects, particularly frustrating given the impressive visual quality of the rest of the film. Far be it from me to tell the director of something called Hellbreeder how to make a movie, but making the creatures look real should probably be a priority in a film solely made up of shark attacks.

Not without entertainment value, the film’s strengths (underwater dialogue recording, not being racist) are swallowed up by nothingy characters and a sense of creative tunnel-vision.