In this 2000 sequel, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must stop an evil scotsman (Dougray Scott) from unleashing a deadly virus, lest anyone other than Paramount should profit from the release of a contrived intoxicant.

Mission: Impossible 2 sees the franchise jump the shark two films into an eight-part series. While the first movie was far from subtle, this makes its predecessor look like the work of John le Carré. Where Brian De Palma brought a lot of suspense and some emotion to the trademark set pieces, which were there to drive the plot, here the surprisingly limited action is largely incoherent and irrelevant. The nadir of this is the flirty car chase between Hunt and his love interest (Thandiwe Newton) in which the citizen-protecting super-spy endangers everyone on the road with the recklessness of a man trying to prove something about his sexuality.

Borrowing liberally from Brosnan-era Bond, M:I II swaps the original’s crossing and double-crossing for misogyny, homoeroticism, and more face-swapping than your social media feed circa 2016. This makes Face/Off director John Woo the perfect choice to provide the visuals if not the romance, although he cannot be blamed for making Newton say things like, “Oh bloody hell, you’re a spy!” and “What are you going to do, spank me?” while all the men (except Hunt in fairness) justify using her as bait by explaining that women are all liars and comparing them to monkeys.

And though we have to wait almost two hours for Woo’s most dramatic aesthetics, he delivers a testosterone-fuelled climax full of doves, hairography and conveniently placed barrels of “hazardous waste”. But the defining moment in Mission: Impossible 2, and the whole series, is the introduction of Hunt free-climbing a cliff face before receiving his signature sunglasses and throwing them into the air as they explode. This is the franchise’s mission statement; it exists as a product designed to make Cruise look cool and definitely not creepy, then to throw away.