Personal Shopper
Frown with limbs Kristen Stewart plays Maureen, a personal shopper who’s also a medium. That’s not her clothing size, I mean she can speak to the dead. Her recently deceased twin brother […]
Author Archives: Dan Meier
Barbarella
Barbarella (Jane Fonda) is on a 41st century mission to stop the evil scientist Durand Durand (Milo O’Shea). Yes, this is where Duran Duran got their name. And possibly their […]
Life
New sci-fi/horror movie Life is a lot like Alien – but instead of a terrifying alien there’s quite a cute starfish creature, instead of Dan O’Bannon it’s the Deadpool writers, and instead […]
Elle
One-man Dutch movie industry Paul Verhoeven directs Elle, or as Cineworld lists it, Elle (French). Not a prequel to Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (I don’t know what that means either), Elle stars Isabelle Huppert as the […]
Traffic
This is not a biopic of psychedelic rock band Traffic, but it does feature a lot of drug use. Steven Soderbergh’s Traffic has the distinction of going up against another Soderbergh movie, Erin Brockovich, for the Best Picture Oscar […]
Logan
In 2029, Logan (Hugh Jackman) and Charles (Patrick Stewart) are hiding out on the Mexican border, when the young Laura (Dafne Keen) shows up, forcing the three mutants on the run. […]
The Goblin Awards 2016
More reputable than the Golden Globes and shorter than the Oscars, it’s time for the Goblin Awards, our annual antidote to the Academy’s public onanism ceremony. 1. Most Awkward Moment The most awkward […]
Moonlight
Not to be confused with the Cher movie Moonstruck, this is an Oscarnated drama about a young black man in three stages of his life. I’ve seen this film compared […]
Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh
Heed the advice of the Grateful Dead, who once sang: “Look out, look out, The Candyman.” Mind you, they also said “Look for a while at the china cat sunflower,” so […]
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
This week, Guillermo del Toro announced that the long-mooted Hellboy 3 was officially dead, which seems unfair considering properties as tedious as Captain America get a whole trilogy. Yeah I went there, what’s he going to […]
