#HateFilms: Jurassic Park
In our third film which Michael Owen wishes-he-hadn’t-saurus, flea circus proprietor John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) behaves like a billionaire Justin Lee Collins as he sets out to bring back the […]
Tag Archives: film
I’ve Never Seen…The Last Crusade
Aqua’s favourite doctor (Harrison Ford) goes after the Holy Grail of ancient artefacts: the Holy Grail. He’s accompanied by a holy grey-old man, his father Henry Jones Snr (Sean Connery), […]
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
A decade after Borat travelled across America in an ice cream van to kidnap Pamela Anderson, Sacha Baron Cohen dusts off the grey suit and moustache for election year, with […]
Bloodsport
Jean-Claude Van Damme plays army officer Frank Dux (the missiles from Brissiles?), who enters an illegal and exceptionally brutal martial arts contest for reasons which aren’t entirely clear. Probably just […]
The Muppet Movie
The first of many, many cinematic outings shows the Muppets’ humble beginnings, as Kermit goes in search of stardom, picking up his furry friends on the way to Hollywood. Meanwhile […]
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
A detective (Bob Hoskins) with a long-held grudge against cartoons, gets drawn into Toontown when popular actor Roger Rabbit (Charles Fleischer), who stars as himself in cartoon serials, is set […]
Beach Rats
19-year-old Frankie (Harris Dickinson) lives with his mum (Kate Hodge), but spends his nights at drug-fulled parties with his ‘wrong crowd’ mates, while secretly arranging late-night hookups with older men […]
Tenet
A man (John David Washington), who may or may not work for some kind of mysterious organisation, finds himself investigating strange new weaponry which has been sent backwards through time. […]
Antkind – Charlie Kaufman
Self-absorbed film critic B. Rosenberger Rosenberg stumbles on what may be the greatest cinematic acheivement of all time in the apartment of an eldery African American gentleman. But the work […]
Iron Mask
A cartographer (Jason Flemyng) sets out to map the Russian far east, where he uncovers a mystery involving a dragon’s eyelashes and Tsar Peter the Great (Yuri Kolokolnikov), who’s hiding […]
