I recently watched the Carrie remake. I didn’t pay, I hasten to add. It just popped up on Netflix. While I could talk about how mediocre it was, how unconvincing it is having a Carrie that looks the same as the popular girls, or how the introduction of videophones really adds nothing to Stephen King’s tale, the most significant, overriding problem with this film is how utterly unnecessary it is. So, instead of a normal review, I have made a list of things less pointless than this Carrie remake:
Chopsticks with soup
Heavy metal reggae
Curved TVs
Hair extensions for Rapunzel
A gravel fondu
S. Darko
A hermit with a sense of humour
A 4×4 that runs on fear
Bank holiday Sunday
Ironing
An ice hotel in the Maldives
Vegan cheese
Putting a Rolf Harris painting on eBay
A North Korean election
The Flat Earth Society
Michelle Williams
Windows 8
Screen Goblin 
I spotted it on Netflix and I think I’m going to have to watch it, even though I fully expect it to be crap.
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