Santa and his brother Krampus team up to ruin Christmas, Band Aid style.

Originally released in 2013 but repackaged 2 years later for the sake of tricking people wanting to buy the good Krampus movie, Krampus: The Christmas Devil might be the worst Yuletide yarn this side of Love Actually. Everything about it screams amateurism, from the acting to the lighting. The lighting. The thing you usually praise when you can’t think of anything nice to say about a film. Even the sound is out of sync and largely inaudible, which is a blessing in disguise considering lines like: “My mum always told me to fuck what you kill.” Merry Christmas!

Holiday horror films still require a degree of festivity, even one as nasty as Black Christmas. This is just grim, stuffed with child abduction and incestuous rape. That it got a DVD release at all represents whatever’s the opposite of a Christmas miracle. You’d expect a movie that features Santa yelling “I’m a fucking god!” to at least be fun, but Jason Hull’s nihilistmas flick is unpleasant, incompetent and cheaper than your nan at Christmas. He’s writing a script, he’s checking it never. The best thing you can do with this Poundland knockoff this Christmas is chuck it on the fire.