The Day After Tomorrow
Donald Trump enthusiast Dennis Quaid stars in this 2004 climate change disaster movie they should have called Cloudy with a Chance of Meatheads. In hindsight it is ironic that Quaid […]
Weapons
Seventeen kids from the same third-grade class go missing one night in this stuper-natural horror film they should have called Children of the Dumbed. Weapons opens with a child (presumably […]
Dangerous Animals
A surfer named Zephyr (Hassie Harrison) is abducted by a seafaring serial killer called Tucker (Jai Courtney) who feeds his victims to sharks, in this survival horror flick they should […]
Good Boy
Chronically ill Todd (Shane Jensen) moves to a haunted cabin with his dog Indy (Indy) in this horror movie they should have called Chihuahuanormal Activity. Good Boy follows in the […]
Sabotage (1936)
Not to be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Sabotage or Alfred Hitchcock’s Saboteur, Alfred Hitchcock’s Sabotage is a 1936 thriller about terrorists targeting Piccadilly Circus with the unthinkable aim of causing […]
Dead of Winter
Barb Sorenson’s (Emma Thompson) ice fishing trip is rudely interrupted by a kidnapping, in this survival thriller they should have called Deadliest Catch. Dead of Winter proudly references Fargo in […]
M3GAN 2.0
Two years ago, killer doll movie M3GAN captured the public mood around AI by invading social media and being generally annoying. Now the tech bro pin-up is back in this […]
Spinal Tap II: The End Continues
Legendary rockers Spinal Tap embark on their difficult second movie for a difficult second time (following 1994‘s largely forgotten The Return of Spinal Tap). After the unexpected success of the first […]
The Long Walk
50 teenage boys volunteer for a walking tournament where they are shot if they drop below 3 miles per hour, in this carbon-neutral version of Speed. Based on a 1979 […]
Emma
Gwyneth Paltrow swaps the incense for incest in this 1996 adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel about a spoiled white woman spouting bad lifestyle advice and lauding her privilege over everyone […]
Screen Goblin 