Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Wide-mouthed eighth wonder of the ancient world Charlton Heston is back in this sequel to the iconic sci fi film. It sees a new astronaut arrive on the mysterious planet […]
Tag Archives: Retro review
Olympus Has Fallen
The President is held hostage in Olympus Has Fallen, confusingly released the same year as White House Down; the worst year for the White House since the election of George W. Bush. This 2013 action […]
Julia’s Eyes
Julia’s Eyes (Los ojos de Julia) is a Spanish horror film about a woman going blind, directed by Guillem Morales and produced by Guillermo Del Toro, who likes to promote promising filmmakers (with […]
Eraserhead
After watching Erasherhead, and eating a certain amount of cheese, I dreamt I was being chased through a train by a shapeshifting man-dog and I couldn’t tell anyone because they’d say “it’s […]
What We Do in the Shadows
A group of vampires flat-share in What We Do in the Shadows, the funniest vampire movie since Twilight. This 2014 mockumentary drains great comedy from the day-to-day logistics of being a vampire […]
The Woman (Vs Room)
After Room left me feeling depressed, I revisited The Woman by way of a palette cleanser; the cinematic equivalent of a Fisherman’s Friend. Administered by Leatherface. Room and The Woman both feature Sean Bridgers as […]
Rain Man
Not to be confused with Rayman, this 1988 drama stars a different cartoon character (Tom Cruise) as selfish car salesman Charlie Babbitt, who learns that his deceased father has left […]
Cleopatra
Not to be confused with the TV series based on the 90s pop group of the same name, Cleopatra is historical epic featuring real life couple Elizabeth Taylor and Richard […]
I’ve Never Seen… The Sound of Music
How have I gone 24 years without seeing The Sound of Music, the film that trounced Gone With the Wind‘s box office record? It’s a particular marvel since I realised […]
Blade: Trinity
In David S. Goyer’s Blade: Trinity, Wesley Snipes is back to bother more vampires and second-hand DVD stores. Apparently Snipes went crazy on the set of this 2004 action threequel, […]
Screen Goblin 