Chloë Grace Moretz is stalked by Isabelle Huppert in Neil Jordan’s Greta, AKA FatElle Attraction.
At his best the Crying Game director is a filmmaker unconstrained by genre trappings, which makes this boilerplate bunny boiler flick a crying shame. From the moment Moretz helps Huppert adopt a dog you know exactly the Single White Beagle route Greta is taking, right down to her raincoat.
The only mystery is why Jordan would make such a rote, retrograde thriller, whose only distinction from those of the ’80s and ’90s is the addition of Facebook stalking. His direction is slick enough but the screenplay by Jordan and Ray Wright is riddled with plot holes and trashy dialogue: “My friends say I’m like chewing gum; I tend to stick around.”
Huppert is creepy and stressful as the French psycho killer (qu’est-ce que c’est) and having an acclaimed actress play your schlocky villain represents the height of camp, but the fun stops there. Moretz plays one of these useless protagonists who wanders passively from one predictable situation to the next, while Maika Monroe, Stephen Rea and Zawe Ashton all feel underused.
More miss than Misery, Greta is like chewing gum that’s stuck around: stale.