Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

When last we saw Shatner-faced babysitter-botherer Michael Myers, he was being sprung from jail by a mysterious Man in Black. 6 years later we (and the producers) discover that this man was the leader of a pagan cult that has been controlling Michael and has abducted Jamie Lloyd, previously played by Danielle Harris but now J. C. Brandy. I’m not saying this film is cheap but apparently they refused to offer Harris more than $1,000.

Stories of that nature plague Halloween 6, the titular curse manifesting itself in production squabbles and last-minute reshoots. It follows the boy Laurie Strode babysat in the original, now a young man played by an ineffectual Paul Rudd (whose inability to age since 1995 could be a pagan curse of its own) as he tries to protect Jamie Lloyd’s baby from incompetence incarnate Michael Myers. The story retcons this notion that Michael is evil incarnate by making him the victim of a druid curse, which is much sillier and less frightening than his being “purely, simply evil” because druids aren’t scary. Yeah I said it, what are they going to do? Chant at me?

The editing on Ant-Man vs Michael Myers is botched so badly it manages to retain redundant scenes while removing key ones, to the point that we don’t know who anyone is or what they’re doing. How does Rudd know where the baby is? Did Hank Pym tell him? There’s one character so deaf she “wouldn’t hear a truck drive through her living room” but is able to carry out conversations at normal volume when the plot requires it. The only points of interest are a jokey reference to “Michael Myers in space” that appears to seed the plot of Jason X, a kill where someone literally explodes and the final appearance from the great Donald Pleasence to whom the movie is dedicated. Now that’s evil.

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