A meteorite causes paranormal disturbances on a farm in this new horror/Lovecraft/Nicolas Cage movie that they should have called Poultrygeist. Except they couldn’t because a) it’s an alpaca farm and b) there’s already a film called Poultrygeist.

The problem with building a movie around Nicolas Cage is you have to make all the other performances as bad as his. Director Richard Stanley relishes this particular challenge, and his weird-for-the-sake-of-weird approach is more Netflix than Ct-Hulu. His flick has more humour, plot and colour than Cage’s previous gonzo effort Mandy, but that’s not saying much considering that film was literally just red for 2 hours like Derek Jarman visiting La Tomatina Festival.

Stanley throws in purple alien insects, Tommy Chong and special effects that were better executed in the ’80s by Lovecraftian loveletters Re-Animator and From Beyond, films that were fun in a way this is not. The characters are poorly conceived to the point of indifference, in contrast to a movie like last year’s Ready or Not which took a bonkers premise (a deadly game of hide and seek) but grounded it with convincing characters and relationships.

Cage fans will relish his outbursts and Basil Fawlty moment (as in beating up his car, not impersonating a Nazi. Although Lovecraft would probably approve of that) but for me nothing pulls you out of a Lovecraft story like Nicolas Cage yelling about alpacas, rendering Color Out of Space dull. Next time alpaca book.