Quiz Call: Three

It’s our next Quiz Call film, this time an answer to the question ‘Films with numbers in the title‘. In fact it’s the perfect Quiz Call answer, as its title is a number, and doesn’t contain any multi-syllable words for its borderline illiterate hosts to stumble over. It was also better known as Survival Island, decreasing the already minute chances of anyone guessing it.

After their boat catches on fire, three people get washed up on an island: Manuel (Juan Pablo Di Pace), who brings goggles, Jenny (Kelly Brook), who brings makeup, and Jenny’s jealous husband Jack (Billy Zane) who brings an intense dislike of hunky Latin men talking to his wife. Think Love Island meets Lord of the Flies.

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Dubbed an ‘erotic thriller’ the only thing erotic is Brook’s performance which feels like it’s straight out of a porn film. Di Pace takes things seriously as Manuel, while Zane is the only one who has fun as miffed hubbie Jack, creating a tiresome trio who are about as easy to warm to as the hosts on Quiz Call.survival-island-6-1.jpeg

The title apparently refers to the number of people who have to live together on the island, but it could just as easily refer to its expected Rotten Tomatoes score. When Jack becomes fixated on the idea that Manuel and Jenny are trying to repopulate the island behind his back, the three prioritise spite over survival as they seem totally unable to comprehend the gravity of their situation.

It’s hard to get involved in a film about such contemptible people, even if it does approach hilarious absurdity at times, particularly when it’s implied that Manuel’s misfortune is the result of some sort of voodoo vengeance. The resulting island-based disaster is like the Fyre Festival with better facilities, and like that event it’s hard to avoid a sense of schadenfreude about the whole thing.

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